I Miss Her. First Love of My Life.

15th January 2015 - The date that i will never forget forever. I've never been open on the death of my mother, Ibu, unless to my husband. It bothers me sometimes how i've never got the chance to be around her when she's gone, but i am always thankful that my father, Abah was there, holding hands with her until her last breath. We rarely talk openly about the time of the death. We did, once, but of course, I couldn't hold back my tears. So what we do now is just talk about her past, memories about her when she was alive.

I still remember watching her body being put inside the grave. It was the moment that i finally believed that she really is gone. When I first came back home to see for myself the dead body of my Ibu, all I saw was just her, sleeping peacefully as she always did on her bed. I thought that she would wake up somehow, because her face seemed alive..and peace. She might finally got to rest after all those painful years starting by the day she felled in the toilet and got all those operations on her brain. Sigh.

You know, I always have too many regrets when it comes to her. I studied in Johor before, so i've got too little time to spend with her. But still, somehow, i could understand the flow of my life's journey. Everything happened for some reasons. I would never be the same as I am today if that never happened. Gosh where am I going now.

Nevertheless always remember your parents in your do'a. You will never know when will be the last time you see them. Appreciate them while you still got the chance. That may sounds cliche, but really, nobody could replace your parents, others will never be the same as them.

Al-fatihah.

Lots of Love,
Lin Meli